Rubbish, piffle, tommyrot, drivel and utter bilge

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Sexy, My Aunt Fanny!

So Billboard, just in time for Valentine's Day (how predictable) has posted on their website their list of the 50 Sexiest Songs of all time. In their defence, they do put a disclaimer at the beginning that the list is not a list of the songs people find sexy, merely a list of the most popular songs about sex, ever. So not sensual, get-ya-in-the-mood-for-makin-luuurrrve type songs, just songs about doin'it or wanting to do it. Tedious. Boring. A lot of rap, not surprisingly. Who wants to read that list?

OK, some songs about the act of coitus are actually sexy. Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing, for one. It talks about it, and sounds sexy too. A double whammy. The top of their list was Olivia's Physical - which just makes me want to jam knitting needles into my eyes. Not sexy at all.

So what's on my list of songs that get a person in the mood? Hmm. I have much thinks about this tricky one.

Well, let's start with a bit of the classical. Ravel's Bolero  is a nice, slow, pulsating bit of orchestral foreplay, isn't it? Same goes for Kashmir by Led Zep. Longish song with a lustful hypnotic rhythm. Gets the old juices flowing. Nights In White Satin by The Moody Blues is a lush, sweeping, romantic opus, and Chris Isaak's Wicked Game is an old favorite too. I once made a tape designed to set the mood. Here's a few of what was on it...

This Mortal Coil - Song To The Siren
David Sylvian and Ryuichi Sakamoto - Forbidden Colours (this is also the theme to Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence and Sarah Brightman did a nice cover of it a while back).
James Brown - Cold Sweat and Sex Machine
Prince - Erotic City and Girls and Boys
The Doors - Moonlight Drive
Simply Red - (Open Up The) Red Box
UB40 - Don't Let It Pass You By
and you can't beat a bit of Barry White, especially I'm Gonna Love You Just A Little More, Baby.
See if this doesn't get you in the mood. Oh, and it's got a kick-butt intro, which has been used in TV and movies dozens of times.

What are your favourites?


  1. I don't know if you saw my post of this on FB this morning, but everyone I know was aghast at this horrendous list. I knew you'd come through with one of your own.

  2. I actually did see that, and once I went to the Billboard site I knew something had to be done.


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