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Rubbish, piffle, tommyrot, drivel and utter bilge

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Into The Unknown 97: Christmastime Is Here Once More

Here's the full gen on the new episode. Yuletide japes and holiday hijinks ahoy!


dj BC - Jingle Pressure
http://www.djbc.net/

Yazoo - Winter Kills
http://yazooinfo.com/

Julian Casablancas - I Wish It Was Christmas Today
http://juliancasablancas.com/main/

The Zells - slippy world
https://denzell.bandcamp.com/

Bonaventura - When Malyndy Sings
https://jeremyhealy.com/biography/

Parry Gripp - Space Unicorn
http://www.parrygripp.com/

Matt Berry - World In Action
http://www.themattberry.co.uk/

Couch Jackets - Kathy Was All Woman
https://www.couchjackets.com/

Cunning Folk - Matty Groves
https://cunningfolkmusic.com/

Divide & Kreate - Velvet Santa
http://www.divideandkreate.com/

Fire Nuns - A Thousand Eyes Rolling
https://firenuns.bandcamp.com/

Guiville - More Noodles With Rice
https://www.guiville.com/

Jim James - Just A Fool
https://jimjames.com/

Kitchen & The Plastic Spoons -Happy Funeral
http://rock.wikia.com/wiki/Kitchen_and_the_Plastic_Spoons

Michael Nau - Maralou
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotton_Jones

modus pony - if you can't be the nordicest, be the walkingest
https://soundcloud.com/moduspony

mojochronic - Yuletide Zeppelin II
http://bootiemashup.com/

Slaves - Beauty Quest
https://youareallslaves.com/

The Singularity - In Your Room
https://thesingularitymusic.bandcamp.com/

Bat Zuppel - Suspicion
http://www.batzuppel.com/

Alice Boman - End Of Time
https://aliceboman.bandcamp.com/

Amason - Algen
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amason_(band)

Division Of Laura Lee - Hollow Pricks
https://divisionoflauralee.com/

JD McPherson - Hey Skinny Santa!
https://www.jdmcpherson.com/

Lemon Demon - Aurora Borealis
https://lemondemon.bandcamp.com/

Johnny Marr - I Feel You
https://johnnymarr.com/

mary and the black lamb - it's no good (dep mode cover)
https://maryandtheblacklamb.bandcamp.com/

Goddammit Jeremiah – Office Christmas Party
https://goddammitjeremiah.bandcamp.com/

Loose Tapestries - Can't wait for Christmas
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loose_Tapestries

Into The Unknown 96 - Better Late Than Never

It occurs to me that I was somewhat remiss in my podcasting duties, and had forgotten to publish the track listing and weblinks for the previous show, so here they are.



m1nk - eBomb
https://www.m1nk.com/

Brett Newski - Bro-Country
https://brettnewski.com/

The Black Watch - Orange Kicks
https://www.facebook.com/theblackwatchmusic/

Rachel Mason - Marry Me
https://www.facebook.com/futureclown

Black Needle Noise with BettyX - Social Media Disease
https://blackneedlenoise.bandcamp.com/

C'mon - Daydreaming
https://cmon1.bandcamp.com/

Chali2na - How We Do
https://www.chali2na.com/

Frau Pouch - Erotic Clocks
https://fraupouch.bandcamp.com/

Charodey Jeddy - Rememba Da Name
https://www.facebook.com/vobr.blaze

Gina X Performance - No G.D.M.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gina_X_Performance
https://www.ltmrecordings.com//gina_x.html

Iggy Pop & Zig Zags - If I'm In Luck, I Just might Get Picked Up
http://iggypop.com/
https://zigzags.bandcamp.com/music

John Bender - 54-2 Meat
https://soundcloud.com/superiorviaduct
https://www.facebook.com/superiorviaduct
https://www.superiorviaduct.com/

OGI - Resist Dance
https://www.facebook.com/peter.ogi
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0644677/
https://soundcloud.com/peter-ogi

Laundry - Graveyard Crumbs
https://soundcloud.com/laundry-band

The Singularity - Running Up That Hill
https://www.facebook.com/thesingularitymusic/
https://thesingularitymusic.bandcamp.com/

Senji Niban - Boogiewoogie Tokyo
https://onbangdo.bandcamp.com/

The Tuesday Night Machines - Jungle Electric
https://nightmachines.tv/

Sone Institute - The Devil Works In ASDA
http://www.soneinstitute.co.uk/

Tokyo Tea Room - Painted Gold
https://www.facebook.com/tokyotearoom/

unTIL Ben - Don't Panic
https://untilben.bandcamp.com/

Truett & George - Wabash Blues
https://adp.library.ucsb.edu/index.php/talent/detail/88731/Truett_and_George_Musical_group
https://archive.org/details/TruettAndGeorge-WabashBlues

Monday, December 24, 2018

Christmas Story Challenge: Jeff Hickmott

My Christmas story challenge was to write a festive-themed tale in 1000 words or less, using as many English words with Greek or Latin origins as possible. As it turns out, this is not too tricky, since about half of all the words in use in the English language have their roots in Latin or Greek. The tricky part is identifying them all!

I wrote a story and so did my good friend and fellow Unbelievable Michael Noble. Here's mine. (spoiler alert: It's just a tad more than 1000 words. Oops!)

You Can Plan On Me

Lucia smiled as she dusted the mantelpiece and replaced all the usual ornaments with the miscellany of snowglobes, tree-shaped glittery objects and miniature lamps with stars and angels on them that she had been collecting for years. To say she loved the holiday season would be an understatement. Her house was transformed from Halloween onwards into an Alpine chalet, despite the fact that she lived in a small village in England. Luckily it was one of those picturesque hamlets with thatched cottages, beautiful scenery, rolling hills. Welcoming, peaceful, with quaint inns and antique lampposts. When there was snow, the village became one of winter wonder. This was just perfect. Christmas was Lucia's favourite thing in the world.

She placed the last ornament onto the mantel, reached for her nearby mug of steaming hot cocoa and took a sip. That was the last thing she remembered.

**************

Through bleary eyes she could just make out two faces beside her bed. One was her friend and employer Annabelle Smart, an attractive blonde woman in her middle 50's. The other was a rather young-looking doctor with serious eyebrows, holding a medical chart.

"Your friend saved your life, Ms. Tomas. She called the ambulance. They had to break your front door. You're very lucky."

"Where am I?" Lucia asked, not unreasonably. "What happened?"

"You're in hospital, Ms. Tomas. You had a seizure. You're suffering from acute renal failure."

Annabelle spoke up. "You need a new kidney. I've already put myself down to test for a match."

The curtains swished apart and Lucia's friend Kimberly walked in. "I've already volunteered to be tested," she said breathlessly. "I came as soon as I heard."

Lucia was struggling to take it all in, and she was feeling sleepy. As she drifted off, the doctor, whose name she could now see was something unpronounceable, said "We need to test as many people as we can to find a good match. You've probably been feeling unwell for some time, so we'll let you get some rest - it's a lot to take on board all at once."

******************

The next thing Lucia was aware of was the sound of a beeping monitor, voices drifting through her mind, random words and phrases such as 'clamp', 'suture', and 'right now'. Again the voices dissipated and once more, she found herself waking up in her hospital bed, surrounded by doctors, Annabelle, and Kimberly. They were all smiling.

"Congratulations, Ms. Tomas, " said the doctor whose name that she could now make out as Dr. Chichicastenango. "We found two good matches almost immediately, from your friends here. Mrs. Smart and Ms. Humble almost had to fight over who was going to give you a kidney. I told them they could give one each." Looking around, she could see that Kimberly and Annabelle were wearing hospital gowns and wristbands.

"And that's not all, Luce," said Kimberly. "Annabelle and I made a huge discovery while you were in a coma." She smiled over at Annabelle, who returned the smile, and through tears and sniffs, uttered the words that would literally change Lucia's life.

"I'm your mum, Luce."

"And I'm your sister!" cried Kimberly. "It's.. it's a miracle!"

They all hugged, and the doctors all applauded. They explained to Lucia that Annabelle had had twin girls when she was much younger, and because she was an unmarried girl of just sixteen, her family made her put them up for adoption when they were just weeks old. Kimberly and Lucia were separated and discovered they were adopted when they were in their teens. Annabelle had tried to find them later in life but the trail had gone cold. Somehow, they'd all ended up in the same village, and somehow, they'd all become friends. It truly was a Christmas miracle. It somehow made Lucia's Christmas even more poignant and important. Her life had been saved, by her two best friends, who had turned out to be her sister and mother. She was dumbstruck by the Lifetime Channel-ness of it all.

*************************

After a few days, Lucia was well enough to be discharged. She was taken home by Belle and Kim, and after helping to straighten out the living room  and call the local locksmith, they left her with the promise to come by every day, and to celebrate Christmas together.

She sat down in her armchair with a cup of mint tea, and pondered over the events of the last four weeks. Despite her hospital stay, she felt wonderful. She'd gained some new family she didn't even know she had, and was still home for the Holidays.

Outside, a steady sleet began, and she could feel the temperature already dropping. She decided to get the fire started and curl up on the sofa in front of it. Sadly, though, this would mean having to get up and fetch some wood from the lean-to outside the back door. She hauled herself out of her chair and opened the back door. Once armed with a few small logs, she turned on her heel and started back into the house.

Suddenly a large hairy creature jumped out in front of Lucia with an ursine snarl, and she immediately dropped the wood she was carrying. It was human in form, with cloven hooves, clawed hands, enormous horns and fangs, with a long tongue lolling from its mouth.

"Merry Christmas, Lucia!" it growled.

A sudden pain shot through her chest as she reeled back against the fridge door, slipping to the floor. Gasping, she grabbed the handle of the fridge door in an attempt to move out of the creature's way. The fridge shook, and a box of mason jars she kept for jam-making rained down on top of her. The creature edged closer, breathing heavily and leering all the while. She felt the searing pain extend down her right arm. The world faded to black, and fell silent.

***********************

She removed the VR headset and disappointedly glanced over at her companion, who had already removed hers. "Got you again," her friend said. "I love playing the Krampus."




Latin words:
miscellany
village
antique
picturesque
perfect
mantelpiece
companion
re-
ornament
creature
hospital
miracle
silent
rolling
collecting
objects
transformed
despite
fact
peaceful
lampposts
favourite
remembered
faces
attractive
doctor
serious
medical
chart
ambulance
seizure
acute
renal
tested
adopted
dissipated
unpronounceable
people
possible
monitor
sound
voices
phrases (Greek)
suture
congratulations
immediately
gowns
discovery
coma (Greek)
literally
change
applauded
explained
family
separated
trail
important
discharged
local
promise
celebrate
armchair
mint
pondered
family
temperature
human
form
enormous
sudden
ursine

Christmas Story Challenge: Michael Noble

My Christmas story challenge was to write a festive-themed tale in 1000 words or less, using as many English words with Greek or Latin origins as possible. As it turns out, this is not too tricky, since about half of all the words in use in the English language have their roots in Latin or Greek. The tricky part is identifying them all!

I wrote a story and so did my good friend and fellow Unbelievable Michael Noble. Here is his story.


Present


2 minutes in ...

This might have been a bad idea. I can't see anything.

5 minutes in ...

Seriously ... I can't see a damned thing. Just take a deep breath and remain calm.

20 minutes in ...

Who decides to challenge their worst fear during the holidays? A time of camaraderie and friendship and family and reflection?

30 minutes in ...

Better yet, who in their right mind seals themselves in a closed box when one has claustrophobia? Shhhhhhhh ... relax ... just breathe ...

40 minutes in ...

Damn, it's dark in here ... of course it's dark in here. I'm inside a box.

45 minutes in ...

It's getting stuffy. I didn't think to leave any air holes in this thing. Of course it's getting stuffy. I can feel my own breath making it humid and warm. Seriously: What was I thinking?

An hour in ...

It didn't help that the adhesive I used to completely seal the bottom of this thing made it airtight. Calm down, don't think about it.

An hour and 5 minutes in ...

I was only focused on taking command of my fear, proving I could master it, finally coming to terms with the fact there was nothing to be afraid of when it came to closed spaces. Isn't that what they say? To face your fear, conquer it?

An hour and 15 minutes in ...

And I have! I've been in this damned thing for over an hour! At least I think it's been an hour.

An hour and 25 minutes in ...

Yeah ... it's been an hour at least. And the overwhelming darkness isn't affecting me! The fact I can hold my hand an inch before my face and can't see a single thing doesn't freak me out! I'm unable to hear anything outside because the soundproofing I used was the best I could find! I can't hear anyone outside, no one can hear me in here! And I'm not panicking at all. I think I did it! I think I've taken control of my fear! I'll just sit here quietly for a little longer to make sure ...

An hour and 40 minutes in ...

Wait ... has it even been an hour since I put myself in here? Maybe it's been two. That's why I left my watch off, so I wouldn't be tempted to look at it and slowly ramp myself up into a frenzy when I realized my situation. But it's got to be a couple hours, right? Just breathe ...

An hour and 45 minutes in ...

Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh ...

2 hours in ...

Yeah ... it's stuffy in here for sure. I think I've used up all my oxygen ... but that really doesn't happen, right? I mean ... I'm in a box, not a metal container. There has to be tiny little openings for air to get in somewhere ...

2 hours 10 minutes in ...

I'm getting so tired. And I have a little headache forming. It's so stuffy in here! But I'm calm. And sooooo tired ...

2 hours 18 minutes in ...

I just realized why I'm so tired. I'm not getting any air. I've been breathing my own carbon dioxide ever since I put myself in here ... it's hard to think ... I'm just going to take a nap ...

4 days later ...

"She's not answering. It's a good thing I have her extra key so we can leave her presents for her ..."

They opened the door to her apartment and put the presents beneath the tree in the corner of the room. That's when they saw the huge box in the middle of the kitchen.

"Look ... she doesn't even have all her Christmas presents wrapped yet ..."

"Well, where is she?"

"I don't have any idea. You know how she goes off on a tangent and disappears for days on end. It doesn't matter when, either. You'd think during the Christmas season it would be different ... but not with her. We'll hear from her when she's good and ready ..."

"Let's look in the box and see what's inside since she hasn't wrapped it yet."

"No! If she found out she'd never forgive us. We'll find out soon enough ..."


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Must contain as many English words with Latin/Greek origins as you can logically cram in.

minute: Medieval Latin minūta, noun use of feminine of minūtus
idea: 1400–50; < Late Latin < Greek idéā form, pattern, equivalent to ide- (stem of ideîn to see) + -ā feminine noun ending
family: Latin familia a household, the slaves of a household, equivalent to famul(us ) servant, slave + -ia
reflection: Late Latin reflexiōn- (stem of reflexiō ) a bending back, equivalent to Latin reflex(us ) (see reflex) + -iōn- -ion
claustrophobia: 1875–80; < Latin claustr(um ) bolt (see claustrum) + -o- + -phobia
damn: Latin damnāre to condemn, derivative of damnum damage, fine, harm
seal: Late Latin *sigellum, Latin sigillum, diminutive of signum sign;
focus: 1635–45; < Latin: fireplace, hearth
command: Medieval Latin commandāre, equivalent to Latin com- com- + mandāre to entrust,
master: Latin; akin to magnus great
affect: Latin affectus acted upon, subjected to; mental or emotional state (past participle and action noun of afficere )
quiet:  Latin quiētus, past participle of quiēscere (see quiescent)
tempt: Latin temptāre to probe, feel, test, tempt
calm: Late Latin cauma summer heat (with l perhaps from Latin calēre to be hot) < Greek kaûma (stem kaumat- ) burning heat; akin to kaíein to burn (see caustic)
tangent:  Latin tangent- (stem of tangēns, present participle of tangere to touch)
different: Latin different- (stem of differēns ), present participle of differre.


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