Rubbish, piffle, tommyrot, drivel and utter bilge

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Repost: Just Buggin'

Just Buggin'
There are a lot of things on my mind today, and I am probably going to have to give each topic a sub-section of its own so as not to confuse you, the reader, or myself, which is most important.
So, here we go:

I was thinking about my previous post concerning my wife's taste in music, and it occurred to me that there was one super-annoying track that she loves but that sets my teeth on edge whenever I hear it. The song in question is (and here is where I apologize in advance for alienating some of my readership and also about half the female population of the USA, if not the entire Western Hemisphere, because this guy seems to be universally adored...sorry for what follows) 'I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. Why do I dislike this song? The reasons are many. Ahem.

Firstly, I cannot tolerate the too-cutesy way he sings it. All the women swoon over this, but he's trying too hard.

Secondly, the lyrics, again, trying too hard to be hip, with the "you done done me" and the "tried to be chill" lines.

Thirdly, the lines "Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest/And nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention". Ack. 1) It doesn't rhyme, and 2) "bestest" Are you serious, Jason? What are you, five?

Fourthly, that little scat section in the 'Do you want to come on' portion of the song. If you can't scat, don't scat, skedoodn'daddy. And the following couplet about 'scooching on over' so he can 'nibble your ear'. Pass the bucket... too cutesy...

Don't get me wrong, I actually did like Jason at one point, when he contributed his version of 'I Melt With You' to the 50 First Dates soundtrack. But I hear this song and I want to hold his head underwater for an extended period of time.

In researching Jason for this post I looked up his Wikipedia entry and found another reason to be annoyed with him. Turns out he did a duet with Colbie Caillat, "Lucky". Now, I have not heard this song, and Colbie is another person who bugs me, but not because of her music, which is quite nice. She annoys me because:

a) There's a commercial in which her music is featured, I think for Walmart, in which she voices over "Hi, I'm Colbie Caillat,..." and at that point I quit listening to what she is saying because I am infuriated with her pronunciation of Caillat. OK, it's her name, and she is allowed to pronounce it starfish if she so chooses, but as I took French in school, I know damn well that Caillat is not pronounced "Cah-lay" as in the French port Calais. It should be "Kye-yacht" as in CAILLAT!!!!

b) Her father co-produced Fleetwood Mac's 'Rumours", to my mind one of the most overrated albums of all time;

c) She's a friend of Kara DioGuardi;

d) She did a cover of 'Kiss The Girl" (another aggravating song) from The Little Mermaid (an equally aggravating movie) for the CD 'DisneyMania vol.6'.

If those aren't enough reasons to be aggravated, I don't know what.


OK, let's get on to language abuse. I was unfortunate enough to witness at breakfast the other day a large group of people, all talking about bidness and he be dis and she be dat and have a goot wh' (we can't even get the whole syllable of 'one' out?) and finishing with a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday To Me ( I kid you not) replete with loud annoying "Whooo!" noises at the end of each line. It almost made me revisit my Danish pastries.

Later that same day at the restaurant I had a tableful of the exact same kind of people ordering their salats and drinking strawberry lemonate. It's a good thing we didn't have chicken tetrazzini on the menu or they'd have probably been all ober dat.

Well, that's about it for today, I guess. Carry on. As you were.
Posted by Jeff Hickmott at 7:39 AM 0 comments

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