Rubbish, piffle, tommyrot, drivel and utter bilge

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Bin Watching The Wedding?

Isn't it weird how weird everything is recently? I mean, Royal Wedding, then  Bin Laden, it makes all the weird news items seem, well, not so strange. The Royal Wedding was weird because of all the freaky hats (big ups to Beatrice and Eugenie, you pair of prize numskulls), not to mention Elton John shambling into the church like an old duffer, and the fact that anyone really gave two craps about it. Sorry, I'm not a Royalist, but I have nothing against the Royals, I'm sure they are all wonderful lovely people who've been inbreeding for centuries (it must be like Liberace crossed with the Hatfields and McCoys over there), but I had not one iota of interest. And then there was this wonderfully loony lady.

She definitely needs to up her meds.
There was also all the crap merchandise...


The Papa John's Royal Wedding Pizza. Really.

Thank you, Dunkin' Donuts.
And then of course we have the demise of the world's most instantly recognisable terrorist leader. All the news reports and faked death photos are a bit much. He was armed, he was unarmed, first he used his wife as a human shield, then he didn't, and the headlines (The Sun wins the prize for 'BIN BAGGED' - brilliant guys, just sheer poetry), it was enough to make your head explode like a suicide bomber. So what if there were crap merchandising tie-ins commemorating the death of Osama? What's that ya say? There are?

It's odd, celebrating the death of somebody is something that makes folks a little uncomfortable, even if that person was one of the world's most vilified people. But wearing one of the above items or drinking from a mug with Bin Laden's face on it along with the word 'DEAD' is just an updated modern version of the age-old tradition of dancing on the grave of an enemy, isn't it? Plus, it allows greedy entrepreneurism to flourish, good old capitalism at its best. We Westerners know how to stick it to the bad guys, don't we?

 But last Friday as the world watched two extremely rich people in expensive clothes get married in a big-ass church surrounded by other rich people in fancy uniforms with medals and bizarre hats, and then driving off in amazing cars, I was at work, all on my ownsome, because my stupid employers decided that some people might for some reason want to drag themselves away from the telly and go into town to buy some frozen food. Result? I took less than £200 in 5 hours. It was boring and pointless. At that point there was only one T-shirt I wanted to be wearing.

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