Rubbish, piffle, tommyrot, drivel and utter bilge

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I Am Andy Rooney

Here's what's on my mind this evening... TV.

Remember not so very long ago we lived in a world where a TV programme would finish and the end credits would roll and they would stay on the screen with the theme music playing till the very end? Apparently we are not allowed to have that anymore. No, kiddies, we have to have the end credits shrink down to the size of  a postage stamp, some promo for some stupid bloody piece of crap we aren't going to watch (but the TV company has spent a lot of money on so they want us to watch it) flies into the other side of the screen and some overpaid nonce announcer talks over the end credits of the show we were watching.

Remember those great days when it was time for a commercial, and the screen would say End Of Part One, then you'd see the station ident, then a few ads, then Part Two would begin? Why do we have to have these stupid bleeding mini-movies that make no frigging sense as station idents, then a shitload of commercials, another dumb arty-farty ident, then the rest of the show?

What is it that makes the station owners think we constantly need to be reminded of what station we're watching? Same applies to radio stations. We tuned to your station, mate, we know what we're watching or listening to, you don't have to constantly remind us of your brilliance by playing stupid station idents ("THIS IS HEART!!!") or little baffling short films. I cannot be the only one who longs for a cheesy Southern TV logo (The Station That Serves The South) unfolding with its little guitar lick, followed by Brian Nissen reading out the list of local transmitters.

It can't be just me who wants to hear "275 and 285, Radio 1!".

Oh and Radio 1, don't get me started. How come it's that old pile of crap station Radio 2 that is now the only listenable one? Every time I hear Radio 1 my brain goes into near-meltdown. I must be becoming an old curmudgeon. I thought (still think, actually) that I was quite hip. I think, though, that I stopped being hip sometime after 1997, since that was the last year in which I saw a concert (The Cure, Everclear, Sneaker Pimps and Green Apple Quick Step). All I ever do is complain about young people's music. But I'm afraid that this world (the entertainment world, that is) is getting a bit beyond me. I'm sorry though, I don't see the appeal of Grime or Dubstep or all that shouty Linkin-Park-Bullet-For-My-Valentine-type stuff. "Hey fellas, here's an idea, we'll play some hard-rockin' type riffs, then I'll sing a bit, then for no reason I'll just scream one of the lyrics at random." "Sounds awesome!"

Remember those lovely days of the 80s and early 90s when you could turn on MTV and actually see a music video?? I know I've harped on this recently, but it's making me insane.

And as for video games these days... anyone actually understand what the fuck they are all about? Or what the point of them is? Because even a shoot-'em-up game is far too complicated for an old'un like myself to comprehend, and I thought I was quite a smart guy. Bring back Galaxian and Defender, those I can understand.

Maybe I am just tired and cranky, but I've had it with this stuff. Ack.

Good night.

P.S. And don't even get me started on computer spell checkers. I just ran mine and it told me that 'spent' is not a word, but it's perfectly happy with 'nonce'. Well, up yours, Bill Gates.

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