Rubbish, piffle, tommyrot, drivel and utter bilge

Thursday, June 17, 2010

My Freaky Lookin' Eye

At work on Tuesday afternoon I was putting all our glass bottle empties into the giant recycle bin at the back of the restaurant, when a piece of plastic debris flew up out of the bin and hit me in the eye. I thought no more of it until I went inside to wash my hands, looked up into the mirror and - GULP! What in the name of Harry Hill is that?

I got it checked by the doc, who informed me that it was known as a Subconjunctival Haemorrhage. In basic terms it is caused by a blood vessel within the eye rupturing, which then makes the white part red. Apparently it is 'of no consequence', and the blood will eventually get reabsorbed back into the eye, but for now, I am Mr. Crazy Eye! Able to scare old women and children with a single glance!

I was reading up about these forms of injury online and discovered that they can be caused by a variety of things, including:

  • Prolonged stress
  • Minor eye trauma (that's me)
  • Spontaneously occurring with increased venous pressure (like when someone strangles you?)
  • Strenuous Exercising (never heard a better argument for sitting on your ass)
  • Coughing
  • Vomiting
  • Touching/widening eyes (Dear God! Don't touch your eyes!)
  • Sneezing 
  • Pulling extreme g-forces ("Yeah, baby, I work at NASA. Got this pulling 7 g's.")
  • Choking
  • Straining (Straining what? Like, on the toilet?)
  • Blood dyscrasia (rare)
  • Severe hypertension
  • Leptospirosis
  • Blood thinners, such as ginger, capsaicin, ginseng, garlic, aspirin, or Herba if taken in high doses or combined. These can also make the vessels in the eye more susceptible to the pressure causes listed above.
  • Diving accidents-Mask Squeeze (volume inside in mask creates increased pressure with increased depth)
  • Severe thoracic trauma, leading to increased pressure in the extremities, including around the eyes. (So eyes are extremities now? WTF?)

With all the mundane things listed here it's a wonder we all haven't got crazy red eyes.

Apparently this type of haemorrhage occasionally appears in infants, and can be the result of scurvy. Arrr, matey. A lot of them baby pirates about.


  1. Permission to use that as my new avatar, please ...

  2. Mr. Crazy Eye!! You better keep that pic for Christmas cards this year...


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