Rubbish, piffle, tommyrot, drivel and utter bilge

Monday, October 21, 2013


Now folks, I'm going to have a little rant here, and it's about fashion. Those of you that know me personally may think that perhaps I have no room to talk, since there have been times when I have willingly and on purpose dressed like this...

That is me on the left in the pink denim jacket.
...but all I can say is 'bite me'.

The other day there was a teachers' strike. In fact, there was a day when kids did not go to school because the principal knew about the proposed strike and told all the parents, who then told their kids there was no school and had to make alternate arrangements no doubt, but the teachers (for the most part) turned up because they weren't all that fussed about joining the strike. Anyway, as is usually the case when there is no school, the town was awash with teenagers.

We went to Tesco, and there is an area outside Tesco with benches and bike racks and is essentially a good area for skateboarders, and we all know how annoying they are. There were a bunch of young males drinking energy drinks and scarfing choccy bars down, and one skateboard and one BMX bike. While we were sitting outside Tesco eating our recently purchased snackage (shopping is a chore that makes one somewhat esurient) watching the teens trying to pull off their fakie ollies and whatever other words there are for jumping about on a plank on wheels, certain questions came to mind.

1.Why do young people find that BMX bikes are always better when there are no gears or brakes? Essentially, to me, those are absolute requirements on a bike.

Fig. 1 -  Deathtrap.

 At least, if you are going to ride one on a road. Which I guess they would have to have done to get it to Tesco. But then they wouldn't look cool by standing up on the pedals and putting their foot on top of the front tyre in order to stop it. You don't know how much I was willing them to either get their feet stuck in the front forks or go arse over tit over the handlebars when they did this.

2. Why is it that the fashion that seems to signify rebellion these days is to look like a member of One Direction? The hair gelled and sprayed into highly unnatural bouffant styles,

Hairy Styles. Geddit? By the way, if no hair salon owner has called his place Hairy Styles yet, do. You're welcome.

 a pair of glasses of which any 1950's B-movie scientist would be proud,

or a kitchen nerd, of course.

 a Kurt Cobain-style flannel shirt,

the stupid baggy woolly hat (worn year-round for extra street cred)

 and those infuriating skinny jeans with the saggy butt.What is that about?

Seriously, you look like you've pooped yourself.
3. Then there was the dude with the long-sleeved T-shirt under the sleeveless hoodie with the screenprinted logo of some punk band on it even though these kids' parents were probably not even born when the Ramones or The Pistols had their heyday. It'd be like me wearing a Paul Robeson T-shirt.

All I can say is...

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