Rubbish, piffle, tommyrot, drivel and utter bilge

Monday, July 22, 2013

Early Crush

A while ago in a Facebook group that I am a member of, a person posed the question: Who was your first TV crush? I remembered mine straight away.  In the early 70s, there was a TV gameshow called The Golden Shot. I'm not going to bore you with the details, because that is irrelevant. The reason I liked it, despite the fact I was only about 5 or 6 years of age, was because of Anne Aston. What was so great about her that she could have made such a serious impression on one so young? Bear in mind the fact that even though I wasn't fully aware at that stage of the fun that could be had with pretty women, I knew I liked them, the way they looked. And so it was with Anne Aston. She was the glamour part of the show, the reason all the men tuned in on a Saturday evening. She was glorious.

It's no coincidence that my current television fave, Rachel Riley, looks more than a little like Anne.

And then there was Dr. Who's assistant, Jo Grant, played by Katy Manning. A wholesome English Rose with a bit of a wild streak.

Imagine my 12-year old surprise when in 1977 Katy posed for Girl Illustrated Magazine in a (successful, to my mind) bid to shake off the wholesome bit and show the wild side a little more. Wow.



Saturday, July 20, 2013

P Bloody C

The poor Jackass penguin.

As if it isn't bad enough being on the Endangered Species list, now he has become the African or Black-Footed Penguin. Back in the day, the 70s and 80s, I would go on holiday to Bognor Regis, and while there I would usually go to Hotham Park's little Zoo. And there were two or three of these guys happily wandering around inside the park. And they were called Jackass penguins.

They are so named because of their donkey-like bray.

You see, a donkey is also known as a jackass.

The word jackass, people, has nothing whatsoever to do with bottoms.

Ass is a word that means either bottom, or donkey.

But because we live in a world that is PC to the nth degree, anything that sounds like it might be a rude word has to be changed, lest our offspring walk around inadvertently being rude.

I remember back in the States a woman I was marginally related to who would, in front of her child, refer to the TV show Jackass as Jackbutt. Her thinking was, butt is a more acceptable word than ass,  so it was better to say Jackbutt.

Firstly of all, I tried explaining to her, butt  is no more acceptable a word than ass, when push comes to shove.

Secondly, I said, the word Jackass in this context refers to the people on said TV show behaving like a bunch of silly donkeys, and nothing to do with bottoms (although they did tend to show their bottoms more than they should have done. I'm no prude, but really!).

Thirdly, you let your small one watch Jackass, but you try to make it more acceptable by calling it a ridiculous name.

You can probably guess that these were Southern Baptists, who try to make all the unacceptable things they get up to more acceptable by pretending they were doing well even though they were actually broke,  and dressing in their finery on Sundays even though most days if you knocked on their front door they'd welcome you inside their trailer dressed in nothing but skanky old boxer shorts, and talking unbelievable religio-babble most of the time. Oh, and pretending they don't drink, even though they do.

You can probably also guess that my discourse on this subject made absolutely no impact on this person.

So it is that the Jackass penguin has had to become the African or Black-Footed Penguin. Because people don't want their children learning about the Jackass Penguin in school and then coming home and saying the word Ass in front of Grandma (who probably doesn't give two monkeys anyway).

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