Things I Wish I'd Said

The older I get the more I have a tendency to look back on certain episodes of my life and think that maybe a well-chosen phrase at the correct time or a timely "no" or maybe even a "yes" would have possibly made a world of difference. This does not mean that I wish my life was different, necessarily... of course, we all wish certain things in our lives were better or somehow enhanced, but...

Anyway, here, in no particular order, are some of the things I wish I'd said at certain times in my life.

• No, I don't think so.
• Alright, well why don't you drive, then?
• No.
• Alright then, stop the car - see if I care.
• I said no.
• OK Jim, that's good advice, and I will take it and act upon it.
• Yes, actually, that would be nice, thanks.
• Go home, you're drunk.
• I'd really rather not.
• Hello, I'd like a Saturday job please.
• No.
• (to myself) Do I want to chat? Nope, I think I'll block you, Missy.
• Oh shut up, you complete loon.
• You know, it is really unprofessional to talk to me like that in front of other members of staff.
• Take this job and...
• No, I don't want to move clear across the country.
• No.
• You really are a conniving old cow, aren't you?
• Nuh-uh.
• Sod off!
• Well, perhaps if you didn't spend money like water every time you get some, I wouldn't have to take all my CDs to the friggin' pawn shop, would I?
• No.
• No.
• Whatever.

My New Favourite Film

I tell ya what - those guys at the Horror Channel know a good flick when they see one. This

MegaShark Vs. Giant Octopus. It's an edge-of-your-seat thrill ride!

was on the other day and I thought to myself - how did I miss this? I won't spoil it for you but if I tell you the two main protagonists are Deborah "Shake Your Love" Gibson and Lorenzo "The Bold And The Beautiful" Lamas, you know we are talking high-calibre acting.

I won't spoil it for you by telling you the plot, but at one point, the MegaShark of the title surfaces in the San Francisco Bay and bites a chunk out of the Golden Gate Bridge...

Like so.

If you are at all unsure about whether you will like this movie, I will play you a short scene which should seal the deal.




So there you go. Rent it, stream it on Netflix or Lovefilm or whatever. You are welcome.

Overheard: American Sports Explained

"Course, all the bloody sports they 'ave in bloody America, they're all crap, aren't they?"

"Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, bloody baseball, I mean, what's that then, it's so boring, innit? I mean people say it's like cricket, but 'sdifferent, I mean it couldn't be more different, could it?! Cricket's interesting. Baseball's a lot of blokes standing around and then running a bit, it's like bloody rounders, I mean that's a girl's game!"

"Yeah, an' that bloody American Football, I mean they stop and they start and stop and start again, it's confusin' an' borin' and they wear so much bloody paddin' they look like the bloody Michelin Man! Hahahahaaha!"

"I read somewhere wasn't it a few years ago like, the um, L.A. Raiders or someone invited one of the London Rugby Union teams, Harlequins or someone like that, to play 'em at American Football, like a challenge like. An' the 'Arlequins went over there an' played 'em at American Football and bloody beat 'em. An' then the bloody Raiders wouldn't come over 'ere an' play 'Arlequins at Rugby Union cos they weren't gonna be allowed to wear their paddin'!! Hahahahahahaaa!"

"An' then that bloody basketball, I mean you get some lanky bloke chuck the ball down the pitch and some other bloke seven foot nine or summink standing there by the basket just catches it an' drops it in, then the others catch it, and chuck it down the other end, and same thing 'appens. Bloody silly game if you ask me."

"An' then they got ice 'ockey, course they call it 'ockey over there and somebody playing a game of 'ockey outside, that's called field 'ockey. You can't see where the bloody puck is cos it moves so bloody fast, an' then they all fight! Hahahaahaaa!"

"Course with American Football, apart from the professional leagues, the NFL like, you can't play football after you leave school, college they call it, so if you don't get signed to a pro team after college, you can't play American Football."

"Whatcha mean, ya can't play it, ya bloody silly...."

"I mean like baseball, 'ockey an' that, they got them minor leagues, ain't they? If you play college baseball, you can go to a minor league team, same with 'ockey, there's loads of minor league teams an' that. But American Football, there's no minor leagues, is there?"

"Bloody silly. Give me footie any day. Stupid America."

"Yeah."

"Wankers."

100 Records That Shook The World, #23

Good Times

Chic

"Good Times" is a 1979 song composed by Bernard Edwards and Nile Rodgers. It was first recorded by their band, Chic, for their 1979 album, Risqué. In August of that year it became the band's second number one single on both the Billboard Hot 100 and soul singles chart. Along with the tracks, "My Forbidden Lover", and "My Feet Keep Dancing", "Good Times" reached number three on the disco charts. The song has become one of the most sampled tunes in music history, most notably in rap and hip-hop music. Billboard magazine named "Good Times" the number one R&B single for 1979.

The song is ranked #229 on Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.


The lyrics are largely based on Milton Ager's "Happy Days Are Here Again." It also contains lines based on lyrics featured in "About a Quarter to Nine" made famous by Al Jolson. Nile Rodgers has stated that these depression-era lyrics were used as a hidden way to comment on the then-current economic depression in the United States.

Enjoy.




NB: Purely out of interest, here are the lyrics to 'Happy Days Are Here Again':


So long sad times, go long bad times
We are rid of you at last
Howdy gay times, cloudy gray times
You are now a thing of the past

Happy days are here again
The skies above are clear again
So let’s sing a song of cheer again
Happy days are here again

Altogether, shout it now, there’s no one
Who can doubt it now
So let’s tell the world about it now
Happy days are here again

Your cares and troubles are gone
There’ll be no more from now on, from now on

Happy days are here again
The skies above are clear again
So let’s sing a song of cheer again
Happy times, happy nights
Happy days are here again!

Now here are the lyrics to Good Times by Chic:


Good times, these are the good times
Leave your cares behind, these are the good times
Good times, these are the good times
Our new state of mind, these are the good times

Happy days are here again
The time is right for makin' friends
Let's get together, how 'bout a quarter to ten
Come tomorrow, let's all do it again

Boys will be boys, better let them have their toys
Girls will be girls, cute pony tails and curls
Must put an end to this stress and strife
I think I want to live the sporting life

Good times, these are the good times
Leave your cares behind, these are the good times
Good times, these are the good times
Our new state of mind, these are the good times

A rumor has it that it's getting late
Time marches on, just can't wait
The clock keeps turning, why hesitate
You silly fool, you can't change your fate

Let's cut the rug, little jive and jitterbug
We want the best, we won't settle for less
Don't be a drag, participate
Clams on the half shell and roller skates, roller skates

Good times, these are the good times
Leave your cares behind, these are the good times
Good times, these are the good times
Our new state of mind, these are the good times

Good times

A rumor has it that it's getting late
Time marches on, just can't wait
The clock keeps turning, why hesitate
You silly fool, you can't change your fate

Let's cut the rug, little jive and jitterbug
We want the best, we won't settle for less
Don't be a drag, participate
Clams on the half shell and roller skates, roller skates

Good times, these are the good times
Leave your cares behind, these are the good times
Good times, these are the good times
Our new state of mind, these are the good times

Good times, these are the good times
Leave your cares behind, these are the good times
Good times, these are the good times
Our new state of mind, these are the good times

Good times, these are the good times
Leave your cares behind, these are the good times
Good times, these are the good times
Our new state of mind, these are the good times

What Th....??

A while ago I posted about the Dizzee Rascal song 'Bassline Junkie' and how much I wished it were a far, far better tune. Today (well, five minutes ago, to be precise) I went to my list of posts with the intention of doing another post in the 100 Records... series, when I noticed out of the corner of my eye that there were 7 comments on the Bassline Junkie post. wow, I thought. I have touched a nerve. I have my finger on the pulse of the nation's thought processes. Or something. Gosh, I'd better read these, huh?

Well, what a let down. Here's what the comments were.


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Where do I start?

• I like the sound of the Chinese pizza.
• Chilblains, seriously?
• Even though I had no idea I was so important to the tinnitus-suffering community, it appears the web address they gave is actually genuine: http://www.tinnitus411.com/tinnitus-relief/
• However, I have no idea why tinnitus sufferers are so interested in what blogging platform I use, but a quick look at my URL should give them a big fat clue.
• No idea why integritydevelopmentcorp.com are so interested in the random thoughts of a chubby guy from Tenterden, UK, but there you are. Their website is genuine as well, so if you really want to know how you can enhance customer service to profit everyone, give them a look.
• Selfmade bread? Do they mean homemade bread? Or is selfmade bread something different because it makes you higher?

So, really, Chinese pizza. I have one question about that. Do they deliver, and who's up for some?