The other day I was doing one of my least favourite chores around the house - mowing the lawn. I say it my least favourite because (a) I feel that lawns are a waste of space - I'd rather see a garden filled with flower beds and veggies growing, although I do understand that if you have kids, lawns are pretty essential so they can play footy or frisbee or whatever - and (b) we have a long garden with a lot of lawn, although the garden has obviously been previously used for flower beds and veggie patches and is consequently lumpy and bumpy and made up of at least 15 different types of grass.
As I stopped to empty the grass catcher on the back of the mower, I noticed the little safety symbols on the protective back flap. I'd noticed them before, of course, but I'd never really paid much attention to them.
What I saw disturbed me.
I don't know what all of these symbols are trying to say, but I shall attempt to translate for you.
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| BEWARE OF LARGE EXCLAMATION POINTS. |
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| ALWAYS BUY BOOKS WITH PAGES THAT GET GRADUALLY SMALLER TOWARDS THE MIDDLE. |
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| STOP TURNING ANTI-CLOCKWISE. |
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| DO NOT DANCE NEAR BROKEN ARROWS. |
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| STAY AWAY FROM FRIDGES. |
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| NO AFROPICKS. |
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| DO NOT ATTEMPT TO KICK TROMBONES. |
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| BEFORE UNPLUGGING THIS APPLIANCE, LAY YOUR SPANNER DOWN ON A BOOK. |
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| NO WHEELIE BINS ALLOWED. |
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| ATTEMPTING TO JUMP-ROPE WHILE OPERATING THE MOWER MAY BE COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE. |
As you can see, these are true pearls of essential wisdom without which any person engaged in lawnmowing would be lost indeed.
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