We Are The Goon Squad

I recently had occasion to bemoan the fashion habits of today's yoof, particularly in reference to the stupid woolly hat wearers, who join the ranks of the jeans-hanging -halfway -down-the-arse people and the hair-combed-in-every-direction-but-the-natural-one as top of the heap in dumb fashion trends. But there is one trend here in the UK that our American cousins probably know nothing about, and that is the curse of leggings and their scarier progeny, jeggings.

What the blinky o'stinky are jeggings,  I hear from across the water. Sounds like something you'd buy at a hardware store.

Well, before I can explain that, I have to first go over what leggings are. They're kinda like footless tights, only thicker. A marriage of trousers and stockings, usually worn by scarily over-made-up teenage girls and coupled with giant oversized cardigans and/or miniskirts/skorts/shorts, and a blank expression that says, "I spent hours getting myself looking this way, so what the hell are you lookin' at?"

I suppose the idea is to make it look as if you are wearing pants that are sprayed on. Not an attractive look on about 90% of the female population.

So we all know what leggings are, right? So what are jeggings? they're leggings.... that look like jeans. I kid you not.

Glamour jeggings. Ay caramba!

Holy hell.

Someone just needs to tap Rihanna on the shoulder and tell her. Wrong. What you did there was just plain wrong.

Trouble, is, it's the 90% of young women that this style of clothing was not designed for that are the ones that go for it. Kinda like all the Hispanic women in the Wal-Mart that wear clothes three times too small for their little fat bodies to cope with. Ay ay ay.

Next time on Jeff's House O' Sartorial Elegance... the advantages of hair loss and tie-wearing. You don't need a flashlight, and look where they point!