BAIC (BAF?)

There are a lot of things in this old world that I don't quite understand, ranging from big things like how did they build the Golden Gate Bridge, and why does the earth stay in its orbit, to trivial things like how does the guy that drives a snowplough get to work in the morning? But I think questions involving language and words are among the most difficult to answer. The four that plague my mind recently are as follows:

1) How can one keep track of all the new acronyms in Internet chat? I remember the days when it was just LOL, BRB and IMHO. I mean it's not like I'm AATK. How am I supposed to keep up? For example, ABCD means Any Bozo Can Do. Who knew? It seems you can just think of a sentence and then turn it into an acronym and make other people feel inferior. Just type IANYM or IARTPFWTSIOWIM and see what reaction you get. Honestly, it makes you want to report people that do this to the AAAAA. (For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, (a) see what I mean?, and (b) go to Internet Acronyms Dictionary to find out.)


2) I still don't know how I get people coming to my blog using such weird search terms. I had someone get a link to this page by typing video clip inka gring foot ball woman champion world tube.  I kid you not. First of all, that makes no sense however you look at it, and secondly... what have I ever written about, ever, that contains any of that nonsense? 
There was another that Googled sexy auntees. Another person searched for who is World O Jeff.  Okay, I can kinda see that one. And a certain person in Atlanta is clearly too lazy or doesn't know how to bookmark, and keeps Googling my name. Learn to bookmark my page, then you won't have to add that extra step.


3) What is with all these weird words deliberately misspelled? Anyone can misspell a word. But a word like 'teh' which started out as an accidental misspelling of 'the' while IMing or texting and then became an 'in' joke of the texting crowd, is infuriating. Same goes for pwned. This came from the online game Warcraft,  where a map designer had misspelled the word owned. When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned." Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned." It means to be beaten by an opponent or situation. O rly? It's just stupid, IMHO.


4) How do they come up with all those little security code words on websites when you want to post a comment? Every time I want to post a comment on someone's blog or share an article or video on Facebook, I am presented with some hilarious made-up word that sounds like it came from an episode of Call My Bluff like dishibod or punnybonk which I am then expected to copy in the box below. How I can be expected to do this while I'm ROFPMSL I do not know.