Rubbish, piffle, tommyrot, drivel and utter bilge

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Film Noir 2

Apologies to Paul Merton.

Music: 'Dances And Dames', Kevin MacLeod,

Film Noir 1

Music: 'Dances And Dames', Kevin Macleod,

Apologies to Max Headroom.

Monday, March 19, 2012

A Hairy Tale

I used to sport a goatee. I enjoyed having one, I kept it neat and tidy. I don't have one now, but you never know, I might someday go back to having one. It's the only kind of beard I would consider having, although i don't have anything against beards in general.

Except one.

A few years ago a certain English footballer married to a Spice Girl popularised the neatly trimmed two-day-growth, and completed the look with the super fit bod and the neatly trimmed hair. At around the same time an alarming trend had started among young professional men - the neat hair with the one spiky askew bit sticking out of the front or the top like an incongruous hair horn. That I could still live with.


Two or three years ago it all changed. The neat two-day's-growth became the scruffy two-day's-growth, and the one spiky bit in an otherwise neat head of hair became lots of spiky scruffy bits pointing out of the head at all angles, creating the general impression that the hipster that owned the head of hair had somehow been involved in an altercation with a gorse bush.

Now I know I talked about facial hair before in a post entitled Indie Name Of Beards, but I am not talking about your Zach Galifiananinanlkllkikkbiibiillis beard,which is the I-don't-give-a-rat's-ass beard. I'm talking about these beards:

This may look like Jake Gyllenhaal on a bad day but it is in fact Shia LaBeouf. True story.

Scruffy buggers one and all.

Guys, if you want to do facial hair right, go to the king.

And if you want the scruffy look complete with hair, go to the master.

 Need I say more?

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Puzzler: Call a Cab

Last time on the Puzzler I asked you which movie featured the legendary Hi-de-Ho man Cab Calloway as a character named Curtis. I was then met with a wall of stony silence, which surprised me, because (a) Cab wasn't in that many movies; and (b) the answer is a movie that most bona fide rock fans have to have seen at least once, surely? I shall now put you out of your misery.

Cab Calloway - Minnie The Moocher (Blues... by Bodhisattva1956

It was of course The Blues Brothers, a now-legendary movie dotted with great performances from such rock originators as Sam and Dave, John Lee Hooker, James Brown and Ray Charles, among others. I don't need to tell you any more about the movie other than the fact that if you haven't seen it, then you must, immediately.

So then... the next Puzzler?

Steven Spielberg had a small role in the Blues Brothers. Whom did he portray?

100 Records That Shook The World, #31

Ramones (LP)


"For me, it blows everything else off the radio." - Robert Christgau

The rock critics of the time loved them. The label had high hopes for them. But their debut LP Ramones failed to set the charts alight. The now-iconic LP spawned two singles, Blitzkrieg Bop and I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend, neither of which dented Billboard's Hot 100.

Recorded for a paltry $6,400 and containing 14 songs, the longest of which (I Don't Wanna Go Down To The Basement) barely surpassed two and a half minutes, the album was full of their now-legendary stripped-down fuzz-guitar no-nonsense punk pop. Writing about the title of Blitzkrieg Bop, rock critic Steve Huey said it was "a nice encapsulation of the group's aesthetic: simple, bouncy pre-British Invasion rock & roll played at top volume and twice the speed. Blaring the same three chords for most of its duration, the song was rock at its most basic." Oh, but what a song. I defy anyone not to join in with "Hey Ho, Let's Go!"

It wasn't until the Ramones briefly toured England in 1976 that they began to see their hard work and incessant gigging pay off. On July 4th they played at the legendary Roundhouse on the same bill as The Flamin' Groovies. Members of the Sex Pistols and The Clash were there, and met them backstage. The rest, as they say, is history.




The following exchange took place today between me and an 11-year-old member of the household who wanted to be left alone to chat with pals via Facebook and BlackBerry while watching TV. I wanted to vacuum his bedroom. The light was on, the curtains drawn, it was about 11 am.

Me: "Why is the light on and the curtain drawn in broad daylight?"
Him: "Natural light sucks balls."
Me: "But natural light happens to be free, as in, we don't have to pay for it."
Him: "Well what about at night?"
Me: "Well that's what the LIGHTS ARE FOR! DOYYY!"
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